Category Archives: Counseling Concepts

We Learnt about Dragons and Scorpions and Serpents, not because they exist, but because they can be slayed

Fear is our salvation and our cross. Consider this quote: “I was raised to believe that being frightened meant being alive. Timeo, ergo sum (I fear being chocked, therefore I am). That being scared is not a frailty but a … Continue reading

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On The Death of Kobe Bryant

Kobe Bryant’s tragic death today (and that of his lovely daughter) is so startling because it reminds us all (or should) that mortality is real. It comes like a thief in the night. It is the summation of life in … Continue reading

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Developing a Positive Mental Attitude: Hoping for the Best, Expecting the Worst, and Winding Up Somewhere in Between

Grumpiness is its own reward, said no one ever.  In fact, there is considerable evidence that a persistently sour attitude can shorten your life. When you stop to think about it, of course it would! The body is not built … Continue reading

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SHOULDING All Over Yourself?

Are You SHOULDING All Over Yourself? My clients often ask me, “should I be doing this?” One client several days ago reported that he should not be working overtime, as it takes away from valuable family time. Another client said … Continue reading

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Parenting Our Parents: And Other Acts of Self-Soothing

So very often – more often than one would like to believe – my clients present with anger toward their parents. It can happen at any age and usually we grow out of it. If our parents die before that … Continue reading

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Validation

Years ago, while pursuing a graduate degree in counseling psychology, a class I was in was shown a delightful little movie entitled “Validation.” I recommend watching it before continuing with this (rather long) blog post about what it takes to … Continue reading

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Please Delete Facebook – And Here’s Another Reason Why

My regular readers know that for several years now I have recommended quitting Facebook. In my doctoral research, I came to read dozens of studies about how this social media site was contributing to a rise in depression diagnoses, an … Continue reading

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Resilience in the Face of Harsh Criticism – Here’s a CURE

Most of us have been “gobsmacked” at some point in our life. Learning how to deal with it is crucial I love that word – gobsmacked. I learned it whilst living in Australia a few years back. Basically, it means … Continue reading

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Manana Never Comes – Start TODAY

If I have learned anything in my old age it’s that I am far more disappointed by the things I didn’t do, than by the things I did do. Indeed, many people spend most of their time thinking about what … Continue reading

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Horrible Bosses – Ideas on What to do about Them

A horrible boss can come with a silver lining: Those who have had to work with an abusive boss are more likely to treat their own direct reports ethically and with respect, according to research published in the Journal of Applied Psychology.The … Continue reading

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